Thursday, December 17, 2009

Funeral Arrangements

Viewing on Sunday Dec 20th 5-7 pm at Jenkins-Soffe Funeral Chapel at 1007 West South Jordan Pkwy South Jordan, UT

Funeral Services:

Dec 21st 10:00 am, Viewing
Service 11:00 am at LDS Chapel 3760 W. Rushton View Dr. South Jordan, UT

To my surprise, I have enjoyed keeping you all informed through this blog. I will actually miss keeping you up to date.
John and I love you all and hope you don't forget about me now that John is happily relocated.

Love from The Miles

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

December 16, 2009 12:45 AM

John passed away at 11:45 PM and was very ready.

I will post funeral arrangements tomorrow.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thursday December 10, 2009 2:15

I’m sorry this has to be so impersonal, but the word would get out too soon and perhaps with not the correct information, so I want to make sure you get this first hand.

I took John for his doctor appointment today and he, again, has failed the blood test badly. We have been told that any window of treatment has been lost and there are no more options to treat him for advanced, aggressive cancer, which has gone into the bones and has spread rapidly.

The doctor has released him t0 Hospice care and predicts “a swift decline, maybe 2 to 4 weeks.” Of course, he has no exact time, nor do we, but John has already told Lori and I that he didn’t think he could make it to Christmas, but wanted to make it for John and his family, who are coming at Christmas time. When I mentioned this comment to the doctor, he simply said, “He probably knows he does not have long, it is very common for the patient to know.”

John is well prepared and at peace with this, as am I. We have had our private talks and nothing is left unsaid. He has even talked to Lori and I about the final arrangements, so he is very aware of what is going on.

I hope you will respect what we are going through right now and I can’t deal with phone calls right now. I have been preparing myself for this for the last several weeks, when I got wind from the doctors just where we were heading. But, it is still very difficult to deal with, so please email, John’s blog or use Facebook to contact us.

Love to all

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tuesday December 9, 2009 8:41 PM

Boy, it feels like it is midnight. I had very little and much interrupted sleep last night.
The most important thing to mention this time is the events of last Sunday night. John started going into convulsions and running a fever and couldn't stop shaking for about 20 minutes, so I had our nurse friend, Arlene, come over and she couldn't get a pulse because he was shaking so hard. His eyes were going back in his head and he looked like he was going to go unconscious. Arlene thought he looked pretty bad and we decided to call 911.
They took him to the ER around 10:00 PM and found a temperature of 103+ and had an infection and was dehydrated. They gave him an IV and took blood to run tests. They gave him 4 bags of fluids and he still could not give a urine sample. So, they put a catheter in and took the sample. He never received enough liquid to the bladder to give a sample. His white cell count was very high (due to the infection) and blood platelets were still low.
The antibiotic they gave him kicked in pretty quick and he started to come around. He was cracking jokes with us, his color was coming back and he was holding great conversation.
We got to bring him home around 3:30 AM.
Monday (yesterday) he was feeling good. He could use his Cadillac and head for the bathroom at a pretty good clip. He ate and drank, with good appetite. Oddly enough, he was in little to no pain. So, Monday was a better day.
Today, he didn't feel as well. I kept the water coming, but his appetite was slim. He attempted to get out of bed and somehow "tweaked" his back and it was too hard to get him up, so he stayed in bed all day. But, he was coherent and able to hold a good conversation. It seems the in and out of conversations and appetite changes are to be expected.
This Thursday is his final doctor appointment. If his counts are not good, he will not have a chemo treatment. This is his last opportunity for treatment. He stills wants to try and we are standing right beside him, on all his decisions.
We need the prayers more than ever. We are good with whatever God's will is and very thankful we have the gospel in our lives and know exactly what all of our lives hold in the eternities.

John 17:3

Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday December 4, 2009 11:14 AM

This will be short, but needs to be said.

Yesterday was the worst yet. All day John was incoherent and doing odd things and hard to deal with, because he wasn't registering everything.

Our barking dog, which drives me crazy, was barking like a maniac at 4:20 this morning, when the doorbell rang. When I went to the door, there stood John in his PJ's. It about blew me away. I asked him what he was doing out there and he said, "I'm freezing". I can come up with endless things that could have taken his life during this event. One, if Zoie wouldn't have barked, I wouldn't have checked the door and being just 15 degrees out, he would have frozen to death.

Then later on, he took a bad fall in the bathroom and didn't want to attempt getting up for awhile. He hit his head and hurt his hip, but Lori and I finally got him up and back to bed.

Now the challenge is getting his blood sugar count, food in him and his meds taken.

I am getting pretty scared of what might be coming and I think I am going to have to get help for him. It is a surety that I can not leave him alone for a minute, not to mention I don't know what to do if he decides to sleep walk away from home.

Young John is flying in on Monday and he, Lori and I will have some serious talking to do. I don't think he could follow a conversation right now, but we'll see.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesday December 2, 2009 10:50 AM

As the song goes, "What A Difference A Day Makes".
Monday we went in to start his new chemo treatment and his platelets were too low and he couldn't have one.
Since he was having so much pain, the doctor increased the dosage of his pain medicine. We also discussed his shakes, that sometimes so intense that he can't even take his pain pills, get to the bathroom, get dressed or eat. It eventually all gets done, but only with great effort and assistance and then he is totally exhausted and breathing very labored.
Tuesday, he started to say strange things, like unrelated to the actual conversation or off the wall, like he had been at the hospital. The doctor doesn't know if all this behavior is pain related, medication or cancer related. He said due to the advanced state of cancer, it could be that. He also said he didn't feel any further testing, like nuero testing, to see what is causing the shakes, was warranted at this stage of his illness.
So, out of the blues John said, "Have you heard anything about the cows?" I said, "What cows?". He said, "The cows that got out of the fenced area?". I replied, "I haven't heard anything about that". He continued, "There are 2300 cows that broke out of the fenced area and they are trying to gather them all up." He asked me to go check the news and see what was going on, which I promptly did. More news to follow.....
This morning, he woke up with a lot of pain basically all over his upper body, has a swollen left foot and was bleeding from his nose. I wasn't too alarmed at the nosebleed as it is so stinking dry here, my nose has bled and my fingers are so dry they are cracked with open sores. I guess you take the good with the bad here; the dryness makes the cold more tolerable. It can be in the 40's here and you may only need a light sweater, but if you were in California, you would be so cold your teeth would be chattering. So, 40 degrees, cracked fingers, bloody nose, who cares.
But to continue on, John got through the day okay, but not in comfort and ease.
Today, Wednesday, he got up and was having concentration problems. He would start a sentence and stop in the middle and say he hadn't said anything and then in the middle of doing something, he would just stop, like you put the TV on "pause", his hand in mid-air and eyes shut.
He is really shaky and having trouble getting around. Thanks to the appetizer enhancer, he did get breakfast down, with odd conversations in between each bite. Pain still bad, so he went to bed. I think sleep is good for him right now. I think sleep is good for me right now..... I'm out of here.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

November 29, 2009 8:45 PM

Well, Thanksgiving is over and I think John did pretty well. He is pretty tired today and slept a lot, but was thankful for having some family come and saw quite a few friends.
He has been in and out of pain, some times extreme. Due to the various tumors, the pain moves from spot to spot. Like from his left side, just under the armpit and above the belt line, to mid lower back, to the stomach area, then to the left chest.
As you know, he was in the hospital for six days last week and his pain was so out of control that I didn't know if they could find the right drug for him. When he left, it was under good control, but as this week has progressed, he has had to have extra pain pills, over and above the two patches he is wearing. And then he gets quite shaky and I don't know if it is the pain or nerves that set him off. When he gets shaky, he has a difficult time getting around.
Tomorrow, he starts his new treatment and he is so positive it is what he should do. So, that means, I must share that same attitude, So, we'll see how that goes and I'll share that with you, when I find out myself.
Here are two pictures of Thanksgiving. One with me and one without and my nephew, because we were taking the picture. I know you will be very happy and surprised the see just how great John looks. You would never know he was ill at all. Me, I don't look so good, but I'm hanging in there.
We hope you all had some quality time with some of your family. I know some are suffering from lost loved ones and family members who are suffering as we have, but still, there is so much to be thankful for. Even with what we are dealing with, we still have more time together, which we are thankful for.