Funeral Arrangements

Viewing on Sunday Dec 20th 5-7 pm at Jenkins-Soffe Funeral Chapel at 1007 West South Jordan Pkwy South Jordan, UT

Funeral Services:

Dec 21st 10:00 am, Viewing

Service 11:00 am at LDS Chapel 3760 W. Rushton View Dr. South Jordan, UT

To my surprise, I have enjoyed keeping you all informed through this blog. I will actually miss keeping you up to date.

John and I love you all and hope you don't forget about me now that John is happily relocated.

Love from The Miles

December 16, 2009 12:45 AM

John passed away at 11:45 PM and was very ready.

I will post funeral arrangements tomorrow.

Thursday December 10, 2009 2:15

I’m sorry this has to be so impersonal, but the word would get out too soon and perhaps with not the correct information, so I want to make sure you get this first hand.

I took John for his doctor appointment today and he, again, has failed the blood test badly. We have been told that any window of treatment has been lost and there are no more options to treat him for advanced, aggressive cancer, which has gone into the bones and has spread rapidly.

The doctor has released him t0 Hospice care and predicts “a swift decline, maybe 2 to 4 weeks.” Of course, he has no exact time, nor do we, but John has already told Lori and I that he didn’t think he could make it to Christmas, but wanted to make it for John and his family, who are coming at Christmas time. When I mentioned this comment to the doctor, he simply said, “He probably knows he does not have long, it is very common for the patient to know.”

John is well prepared and at peace with this, as am I. We have had our private talks and nothing is left unsaid. He has even talked to Lori and I about the final arrangements, so he is very aware of what is going on.

I hope you will respect what we are going through right now and I can’t deal with phone calls right now. I have been preparing myself for this for the last several weeks, when I got wind from the doctors just where we were heading. But, it is still very difficult to deal with, so please email, John’s blog or use Facebook to contact us.

Love to all

Tuesday December 9, 2009 8:41 PM

Boy, it feels like it is midnight. I had very little and much interrupted sleep last night.

The most important thing to mention this time is the events of last Sunday night. John started going into convulsions and running a fever and couldn't stop shaking for about 20 minutes, so I had our nurse friend, Arlene, come over and she couldn't get a pulse because he was shaking so hard. His eyes were going back in his head and he looked like he was going to go unconscious. Arlene thought he looked pretty bad and we decided to call 911.

They took him to the ER around 10:00 PM and found a temperature of 103+ and had an infection and was dehydrated. They gave him an IV and took blood to run tests. They gave him 4 bags of fluids and he still could not give a urine sample. So, they put a catheter in and took the sample. He never received enough liquid to the bladder to give a sample. His white cell count was very high (due to the infection) and blood platelets were still low.

The antibiotic they gave him kicked in pretty quick and he started to come around. He was cracking jokes with us, his color was coming back and he was holding great conversation.

We got to bring him home around 3:30 AM.

Monday (yesterday) he was feeling good. He could use his Cadillac and head for the bathroom at a pretty good clip. He ate and drank, with good appetite. Oddly enough, he was in little to no pain. So, Monday was a better day.

Today, he didn't feel as well. I kept the water coming, but his appetite was slim. He attempted to get out of bed and somehow "tweaked" his back and it was too hard to get him up, so he stayed in bed all day. But, he was coherent and able to hold a good conversation. It seems the in and out of conversations and appetite changes are to be expected.

This Thursday is his final doctor appointment. If his counts are not good, he will not have a chemo treatment. This is his last opportunity for treatment. He stills wants to try and we are standing right beside him, on all his decisions.

We need the prayers more than ever. We are good with whatever God's will is and very thankful we have the gospel in our lives and know exactly what all of our lives hold in the eternities.

John 17:3

Friday December 4, 2009 11:14 AM

This will be short, but needs to be said.

Yesterday was the worst yet. All day John was incoherent and doing odd things and hard to deal with, because he wasn't registering everything.

Our barking dog, which drives me crazy, was barking like a maniac at 4:20 this morning, when the doorbell rang. When I went to the door, there stood John in his PJ's. It about blew me away. I asked him what he was doing out there and he said, "I'm freezing". I can come up with endless things that could have taken his life during this event. One, if Zoie wouldn't have barked, I wouldn't have checked the door and being just 15 degrees out, he would have frozen to death.

Then later on, he took a bad fall in the bathroom and didn't want to attempt getting up for awhile. He hit his head and hurt his hip, but Lori and I finally got him up and back to bed.

Now the challenge is getting his blood sugar count, food in him and his meds taken.

I am getting pretty scared of what might be coming and I think I am going to have to get help for him. It is a surety that I can not leave him alone for a minute, not to mention I don't know what to do if he decides to sleep walk away from home.

Young John is flying in on Monday and he, Lori and I will have some serious talking to do. I don't think he could follow a conversation right now, but we'll see.

Tuesday December 2, 2009 10:50 AM

As the song goes, "What A Difference A Day Makes".

Monday we went in to start his new chemo treatment and his platelets were too low and he couldn't have one.

Since he was having so much pain, the doctor increased the dosage of his pain medicine. We also discussed his shakes, that sometimes so intense that he can't even take his pain pills, get to the bathroom, get dressed or eat. It eventually all gets done, but only with great effort and assistance and then he is totally exhausted and breathing very labored.

Tuesday, he started to say strange things, like unrelated to the actual conversation or off the wall, like he had been at the hospital. The doctor doesn't know if all this behavior is pain related, medication or cancer related. He said due to the advanced state of cancer, it could be that. He also said he didn't feel any further testing, like nuero testing, to see what is causing the shakes, was warranted at this stage of his illness.

So, out of the blues John said, "Have you heard anything about the cows?" I said, "What cows?". He said, "The cows that got out of the fenced area?". I replied, "I haven't heard anything about that". He continued, "There are 2300 cows that broke out of the fenced area and they are trying to gather them all up." He asked me to go check the news and see what was going on, which I promptly did. More news to follow.....

This morning, he woke up with a lot of pain basically all over his upper body, has a swollen left foot and was bleeding from his nose. I wasn't too alarmed at the nosebleed as it is so stinking dry here, my nose has bled and my fingers are so dry they are cracked with open sores. I guess you take the good with the bad here; the dryness makes the cold more tolerable. It can be in the 40's here and you may only need a light sweater, but if you were in California, you would be so cold your teeth would be chattering. So, 40 degrees, cracked fingers, bloody nose, who cares.

But to continue on, John got through the day okay, but not in comfort and ease.

Today, Wednesday, he got up and was having concentration problems. He would start a sentence and stop in the middle and say he hadn't said anything and then in the middle of doing something, he would just stop, like you put the TV on "pause", his hand in mid-air and eyes shut.

He is really shaky and having trouble getting around. Thanks to the appetizer enhancer, he did get breakfast down, with odd conversations in between each bite. Pain still bad, so he went to bed. I think sleep is good for him right now. I think sleep is good for me right now..... I'm out of here.

November 29, 2009 8:45 PM

Well, Thanksgiving is over and I think John did pretty well. He is pretty tired today and slept a lot, but was thankful for having some family come and saw quite a few friends.

He has been in and out of pain, some times extreme. Due to the various tumors, the pain moves from spot to spot. Like from his left side, just under the armpit and above the belt line, to mid lower back, to the stomach area, then to the left chest.

As you know, he was in the hospital for six days last week and his pain was so out of control that I didn't know if they could find the right drug for him. When he left, it was under good control, but as this week has progressed, he has had to have extra pain pills, over and above the two patches he is wearing. And then he gets quite shaky and I don't know if it is the pain or nerves that set him off. When he gets shaky, he has a difficult time getting around.

Tomorrow, he starts his new treatment and he is so positive it is what he should do. So, that means, I must share that same attitude, So, we'll see how that goes and I'll share that with you, when I find out myself.

Here are two pictures of Thanksgiving. One with me and one without and my nephew, because we were taking the picture. I know you will be very happy and surprised the see just how great John looks. You would never know he was ill at all. Me, I don't look so good, but I'm hanging in there.

We hope you all had some quality time with some of your family. I know some are suffering from lost loved ones and family members who are suffering as we have, but still, there is so much to be thankful for. Even with what we are dealing with, we still have more time together, which we are thankful for.

November 21, 2009 11:03 PM

I have never been good at keeping a journal and not real fond of the time it takes to keep one up and running, but I am so glad I have been able to keep this blog going, in John's behalf. To have a way to keep everyone informed and then when I see people, I know they are probably aware of what is going on in our lives and then I don't have to deal with the emotions so much. So, here is the latest:

John was admitted in the hospital, in great pain and hardly able to get up with help. He only ate a touch of food for three days and was down to 140 pounds. The morphine was not giving him any relief and the doctors couldn't figure it out. He had such pain in the left rib area, he could not lift his arm up off the bed and it took two people to get him out of bed. He was not able to hold any type of conversation and Lori and I could not even think about talking about the decision we had to make, before the doctors got back to us. They needed to know what his desires were, before they released him from the hospital. He was there for 5 days and just got home today.

Since the morphine was not working, they then decided to put him on another type of pain drug and a pain patch on the rib area and two rounds of radiation to help with the pain. In a short time, he had great improvement. But, a strange thing happened. As the sun began to go down, he started imaging things, like our niece's dog, Lexie was in the room and he began eating imaginary food out of his throw up pan. So, we called the nurse in and she said she thought maybe he was suffering from "Sundowner's syndrome (I think that is what she called it). She said when the sun goes down, it causes some sort of effect on the brain and people do weird things. We were told (thanks, Diane) not to be surprised if he saw people in the room that weren't there and things on the walls. It could have been the heavy drugs, but it was very strange.

By morning, he turn a remarkable turn for the better, meaning he was not hallucinating any more and this pain went from a 7-8 to a 3-4 and his thinking was very clear. So, Lori and I sat down and talked to him about his options of having the doctors make him comfortable and giving him a good quality of life, until the cancer took his life. Or he could start another round of treatment, which has a 15-20% chance of doing any good at all. If he had further treatment, the drugs would not work like they are now and the chemicals could start causing some side effects and making him as bad as he was when they admitted him and in the long run, additional treatment would not cure him, but could extend his life for an unknown length of time. The doctors were not very encouraging on giving him any more treatment, but more for letting him enjoy his time left. They also said not to let his current condition (little pain and feeling pretty good) fool us. That the drugs and meds he is taking is a cover up and not a cure; the cancer will not go away.

But, John surprised us all by opting to have additional treatment. It is a decision that only he could make. There was no way I was going to sway him one way or the other, but my heart kind of sunk when he announced it, because he has suffered so much for almost five months and I am dreading him going through it again and not really certain what good it could do.

But, on the up side, someone has to be in that 15-20% category and why not John? I have heard a few people tell me that John had told them, "I'm not ready to leave Nancy yet". That is quite a profound statement and one that touched me beyond words.

He has never been a quitter and has always been positive about this treatment. I'm sure that many of you have heard him say, "I'm going to beat this thing".

So, we move forward with a new "combo" of drugs on November 30th. The doctor wanted him to enjoy Thanksgiving and without treatment before then, he should be able to have an enjoyable time with family coming in to see him. Young John and his family and our nephew, Jerry and his family will be coming in. I am so happy that they will be able to she John in good spirits and in little pain compared to what he has been like. If they would have come last week, they would have been shocked at how they would have seen him and he certainly could not have held much of a conversation and probably would have spent most of the time in bed.

So, now you have it. I know we will all honor his wishes and support him in his decision. I would give anything to keep him in my life, so I'll just keep doing what I can and hope some of his faith will passed on to me.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and I'll check in after his first treatment.

Tuesday September 17, 2009

Dear all:

Today is an extremely difficult day for our family. John went in for a treatment yesterday and as most of you know, they feared a blood clot in his lung, so admitted him into the hospital and ran a CT Scan. The doctor came in this morning and told us, "there is no blood clot, but signs that the chemotherapy has failed and the tumors are taking over, including into the bones."

He continued to explain that there is one other treatment we could consider, but it was a milder treatment than the original chemo, which worked for awhile, but ultimately has failed. With this other treatment, there is only a 15-20% chance that it would do any good and he could have worse side effects, with no possibility of a recovery. He suggested we just get the pain under control and make him as comfortable as possible. Social Services has been in to make arrangements for Hospice, for when we come home. He will need a lot of help, as he can't get out of bed at this point.

He was in so much pain, they put him on a morphine drip and left Lori and I to talk over with John what we should do.

We have had a lot of medical people in, with tests and procedures and visits from our bishop, Bruce Tall, our stake president and a few others, that we did not have a chance to discuss what John wants to do at this point. Now he is totally out and needs the sleep.

He was given a beautiful blessing and he and I both felt at peace when it was over.

They have sleeping arrangements here at the hospital and I am staying overnight, but in the morning, we will have to make some tough decisions.

Due to the strain of all this, I am asking that you hold the phone calls and contact us through this blog, facebook or email. It has already been overwhelming, so hope no one is offended and you can understand where I am coming from. Thanks.

November 16, 2009

Last Wednesday, when we returned from dinner, John was complaining about some pain in his left shoulder, front and back, and around to the front and went right to bed.

He continued to have pain over the next few days and it was increasing as time went by. He was taking extra pain medication to help control the pain, but it wasn't working too well. He stuck it out until today, when he was scheduled for a chemo treatment.

When we met with the doctor, John couldn't even left his left arm up to his waist and had to have help getting up and down from his chair. The doctor said he had symptoms of a blood clot in his lung and they pretty quickly admitted him into the hospital for a CT Scan with an IV.

About 7:00 PM they did the procedure and by the time he returned to the room, we were told the results would not be in until the morning. So, that is what we will be anxious to hear about tomorrow.

If there is no blood clot, I don't intend on leaving the hospital without some answers about what this pain is about and how to control it. And how to help move him without hurting him.

We don't know if or when he will have another treatment, but we keep our hopes up that things will be put into play to get him the relief he needs, to keep his diabetes under control and move on with the treatment, until we can have another scan toward the end of the year and then we will know more about just what we have to deal with yet. We are not thinking beyond each day, which is full of faith and hope.

We are amazed at the continued support we have, for those that have offered to help in any way they can and with things we may need. A lot of service has been done, without us knowing who was doing the good deed.

Thank you so much. We love you all.

November 9, 2009 4:00 PM

This is a good day! John passed the blood test and had his treatment. He came home and went right to bed, but very happy he was able to have it. Now, we just have to wait a day or two and see what reactions he has from it.

He had two bad days last week. He was in bed one day, all day, then the next, he felt well enough to walk around the block. We walked completely around the block and he ate and drank good all day. The next day, he was in bed the whole day, feeling a bit more pain and exhausted. We were wondering if the walk was too much, but the next day he walked even more and the following day he felt good. So, we don't know what to pin the bad days on, other than the cancer itself. It is particularly hard to understand, because he had skipped a week of treatment and his body had time to recover a bit.

We will have a countdown until the final treatment and the final scan. It looks like it will be our Christmas gift, so it better be good.

Talk at you next week, after we know if he can have a treatment. OH, there have been some of you who wanted to know if there wasn't something we could do to make his blood cell count better and they told us no, only the body can fix that. If there was something, we would be digging right into it.

Later

Tuesday November 2, 2009

Well, here goes: I have pretty much recovered on my muscle "snap" sprain and can get back into a normal routine at home here.

John went in for a treatment yesterday and his veins were very difficult to get an IV in. It took 2 nurses and 5 times to get the needle in and stay. Then, they tested the blood and the doctor said the white cell count and his protein was too low to do a treatment. It was disappointing, because we just want the chemicals to do their job and not put it off a week here and a week there. They did give him some fluids, in a drip IV and got him rehydrated. Even though he seems to drink a lot, he gets so dehydrated, it causes all sorts of problems for him. One being, he has a difficult time concentrating and focusing on anything. His mind seems to be unable to process thoughts that require a comment and he just kind of stares it off.

On a good note, the doctor feels he is responding good to the treatment and is encouraging that things are working. He confirmed he will have another scan the end of December and see just how well things have worked.

He was us to having some company this week. The bishop and his family, the Thackers, the of the Jensen families, our neighbors, Debi and Laurie and the Ingoglia;s, from Paradise. Not all at once, of course. I'm attaching some pictures of two of Bishop Enger's children on John's Caddy and one of Sofia Jensen in another one. It was good for John to get his mind somewhere else.

And, we have had several dinners brought in this week. I think they took pity on me and my wacko hip.

I'm not going to add any more to this list as I am certain I will forget someone or some good deed and feel badly about it and probably won't start listing thing in future blog messages. So, just know we are being well attended to and love to hear from people, unless the "red" sign is out on the door. It says "sleeping", but could just mean John is not up to company at the moment.

Thanks for understanding and respecting our needs.

It is a real long week, when the treatment is postponed and takes some time for John to get out of the dumps from it.

Monday, October 26, Midnight

Funny how two days can make such a difference in one's life. Yesterday, I was just a few minutes from leaving for church, when I made a wrong move and something "popped" in my hip and I went right to the ground. I was concerned that I had broken something, but couldn't figure out what or why. I gradually got up and walking was not even an option for a few minutes. I used John's cane to hobble to tell John I had something going on and I was worried about helping him get ready, because he was continuing to feel worse and in dire need of that blood transfusion. He was feeling so faint and weak, I was about to call Lori over to get us through the morning.

When Lori came over, she saw me with the cane and dad with the walker and she simply said, "Now are you two a cute pair" or something of the sort. She actually called my injury correctly. I pulled a muscle. Funny, it didn't hurt when I or moved my leg or was just sitting, but when I stood and put pressure on my leg, it was very hard to walk. Bruce Tall (our retired doctor friend) confirmed that it was a muscle. I have to let those who don't have a clue who Bruce Tall is, know he is always here with great medical knowledge and advise for us people from Paradise, California, that migrated to Utah.

Well, to get on with my story: This morning was a riot.... I can laugh now, but it was spooky at the time. For one, we over slept and had to get to the hospital for the transfusion. Well, John was getting ready in the bedroom as I got out of bed and in a lot of discomfort, John was busy throwing up. As I worked my way in to help him, he was bleeding from his nose as he was throwing up. Plus, he was too weak to move him and I couldn't move well enough to help him get dressed. So, if your could have been a fly on the wall, you would have laughed at this scene.

We got through it, but in order to make it on time, no breakfast, no meds and no insulin for john. Then, the real concern came when we both tried to get to the car. John's caddy was hard to maneuver down the front steps, he was still feeling sick and I couldn't move easily and John was unstable and had to keep sitting down. I was even afraid to leave him long enough to pull the car out of the garage. About this time, I was looking the neighborhood up and down to see if any of the guys were out to assist us, but couldn't leave him long enough to actually go get some help.

But, we finally got ourselves to the car and took a few deep breaths and went on our way.

Now, if you don't feel sorry for us by now, I don't know what more we could have gone through or that I could tell you, to bring it on.

Now, the important part of the message. John did fantastic on the transfusion. The nurse said if anything goes wrong (I'm glad I didn't know what she meant by that), it usually happened within the first 20 minutes. She also said something she probably shouldn't have told us, which is; "It's a good thing he is getting this today, he should have had this a long time ago, he really needed it." That comment disturbed me, but no need to make a stink about it to the doctor, she might get in trouble for making the comment at all. They said he should feel so much better and a lot of his bad side affects should subside.

This was a 5 1/2 hour event and by the time we got home, we were both ready for a rest.

I know John feels better, because he isn't as shaky and could walked more stable, but he was tired and went to bed early.

So, we'll see how he is when he gets up. We can deal with these trivial distractions... not to worry.

Nighty-night.

Thursday, October 22, 2009 10:23

Well, it seems I do have something to report, so here it is:

Today John had his rehydrating and it went well. He always feels better after this treatment. By this evening, the Cancer Center called us and said his blood results were in and his red blood cells are very low. John couldn't remember the counts... the good count and the low count, but they said way too low and they have scheduled a blood transfusion for Monday.

They VERY interesting thing about this news we received is, they said a low red cell count is the cause of his weakness, being so tired, dizziness, nauseous, feeling faith and any other symptom he has been suffering with.

So, we are looking forward to this procedure, which, by the way, takes up to six hours, and looking forward to him feeling much, much better.

We'll let you know.

Wednesday October 21, 2009 2:04

It was just brought to my attention that I did not update the blog from last Monday, when John had a treatment. Sorry, it is hard to focus sometimes.

We were pleased to hear his blood counts were good, so he could get the treatment, which he did. He had a good day Tuesday, but today he is feeling the effects of the chemo. I find the symptoms he starts showing and are normal are: Very tired, little appetite, not interested in much of anything to cheer him up and doesn't drink a lot of liquids.

When he doesn't drink enough, he gets dehydrated and then starts to show signs of being "spacey". When you ask him a question, it is usually answered with, "I don't know". Not meaning he really doesn't know, but he just doesn't want to think about the question. He seems to still get cold and uses wools throws during the day and three blankets at night. The house is pretty warm, just ask a few people that stop by.

They have scheduled a re-hydrating IV tomorrow at noon, as the are finding he starts to get weaker and shaky and unstable mid-week and the fluids bring him out of it pretty quickly.

I get asked a lot, "what can we do to help?" and I honestly don't know how to answer that question. To do for John, he just needs time to get these treatments behind him and anxious, as I and you reading this, what the final analysis is going to be. I am positive he is keeping a lot to himself, as he doesn't want to over stress me and likewise, I am keeping a lot to myself, so he doesn't ever have to think or wonder if he is too much for me to deal with.... which would never be true.

Our lawn is being taken care of, when I think I should be able to do it myself, but so thankful I haven't had to.

The real needs for us are being met by all of you, in some way or another. I see, feel and hear it each and every day. So, just keep doing what you are doing and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Josh Warner has put up the handrail in the bathroom, which has already been a help and the walker, which John calls, "my caddie", is a lifesaver.

Lori is a constant in our lives and are so blessed to have her living so close to us.

I'm not going to start naming people and deeds, because I don't think I need to.

We are thankful for a wonderful Bishop, Relief Society and Stake Presidency, who encourage prayers and fasting in our behalf. We are so fortunate to live in this neighborhood and have the ward family we do.

It is comforting also, to know our Paradise, CA friends are so attentive and wish they could be here to support and help us. We think of them almost every day.

I feel, as many who are the receivers of service, that I should be doing something for someone else, so don't leave me off your list for compassionate service; I need the blessings from that too.

I don't think I need to report back for awhile, unless something of interest comes up. John has a week off treatment, then it starts up again on November 2.

I'm glad the blog is assisting us in reaching all of you in a way that couldn't be done as well.

Saturday October 17, 2009 9:15 PM

Since John's treatment, last Monday, he was great Monday and Tuesday. Then on Wednesday (as usual the third day after the treatment) he started up with the nausea and dry heaves. He had no interest in eating and being social at all. He was dizzy when he stood and very zapped of energy, so he did a lot of sleeping.

Thursday, he got the chills and couldn't seem to get warm. He was using sweats, two blankets and a heating pad. Not to mention, I am going to have to move outside where it is cooler as he would love to have the furnace set at 80 degrees. It probably is keeping people from visiting us. He was doing a lot of coughing and was very shaky and had a hard time even holding a glass. This is when I canceled doing Costco book signings during the week and only Friday and Saturday, when Lori is around.

During the night he was running a fever and I was afraid he was coming down with something to add to his plate already. I used cold clothes to try and bring it down and called my standby nurse friend, just across the street (We have two nurse friends across the street and they never seem to sleep; it doesn't matter when things happen, they are available), she said Tylenol would not hurt for him to take and sure enough, it dropped the fever down.

So, the latest was last night. When he was in the bathroom and turned to go back to bed (at 3:00, of course) he lost his balance and fell flat on his back and hit his head on the tile floor. I about fell myself, leaping out of bed when I heard him go down, and tangling the covers in my feet and legs. He said he was not dizzy or faint, but just lost his balance. He got a bump on his head and his left shoulder was hurting today. He has lost so much weight, the shoulder blades are just bare of any padding (Maybe excess weight is good to have). He was good after that and we are going to get some handrails put up in the bathroom so he can hold on the something to keep stable.

Needless to say, we are more than anxious to get to the clinic Monday, to see how his blood count is and hopefully get another treatment.

We'll let you know Monday night. Good night.

Monday, October 12, 2009 10:36 P.M.

John woke up this morning and even though he had not had any chemo for two weeks, he was having the dry heaves. Some of the time, he spit up some pretty ugly phlegm, so we were concerned whether or not he would actually get treatment today.

But, at 10:00 this morning, we found out that John's blood platelets were good and his blood test was good in all areas. So, they gave him a chemo treatment and we were happy he could do it.

He has felt good all day and we had company all evening and watched the football game. He just went to bed, so I think he did pretty well today.

I'm going to try and insert a photo and see how it comes out:

SURPRISE, I actually got a picture up. I'll try a get some more in the future.

In any event, we are both elated at how well this day went and still determined to press onward with a positive attitude and holding on the our faith and faith, prayers and fasting in our behalf. Some day, we hope to go through the 100 of get well cards he has received and personally write each of you. Thank you so much.

A lot of people are asking about my book, I don't want to incorporate it with "John's Blog" as it is for him. I will be adding a link of my web site soon. There are some new things and new recipes on there now, you can check it out at: www.NancyMilesInGoodTaste.com.

Thanks and goodnight.

October 6, 2009 12:20 AM

I wasn't going to write this soon, but it seems I need to.

Since he was not able to have a chemo treatment last Monday, he has been up and down with feeling really good and feeling really crummy. Thursday and Friday he felt poor. He just kind of sat there, not in the world, not interested in eating or any type of conversation. He had a sore spot in his throat that was making swallowing uncomfortable. The biggest problem was that he was so faint and dizzy that we really didn't want him to stand, even with the walker. I finally called the doctor's nurse, who is in charge of John's case, and she said to bring him in for an IV to re-hydrate him.

We told her that he had been drinking a large amount of water that day (Saturday), but she explained that if you are all of a sudden drinking a lot of water, which he was, it would take several days for your body to get hydrated, because when you drink water, most of it goes to your organs and a little goes to the cells, so it would take a ton of water or days of a lot of water, for it to get into the cells to keep you hydrated. But, when you use an IV, the liquid goes directly to the blood stream and gets to the cells quickly. I shared this with you, as it was new information to us and we thought it interesting.

So, after almost four hours of liquids going into him, he felt good immediately. So, we figured that was what was wrong with him. They thought the sore throat was a swollen lymph node. And the next day, Sunday, he felt very good. In fact, it is hard to even realize he has such advanced cancer.

And he felt really good Monday. He even felt like going for a ride and running some errands with me. Most of the time, he waited for me in the car while I did the "running around", but he wanted to go visit his friends at Target, so he went in and did some visiting and had a pizza for lunch there. It was good for him to get out of the house, but he went right down and took a long nap.

He felt well enough to have some company over last night.... of course the homemade apple pie was enjoyable too. And, tomorrow he hopes to see some of his favorite kids who miss seeing him at Target. And, this weekend we are looking forward to seeing our grand daughter, Aubree, for awhile.

Thanks, again and still, to those who are spontaneously bringing in food and treats. We had some wonderful homemade chicken noodle soup tonight and it lightened my load a bit.

Well, we will see what tomorrow brings. He has been continually drinking more water, so we are hoping that will take care of his dizziness. I guess the nausea comes with the illness, but he hasn't been throwing up very much this last week.

Each morning is a new awakening....... "How do you think you are today?" We'll see.

Monday September 28. 2009 10:42 PM

OK, here's what went down today:

We went for John's second chemo treatment, since the doses were changed. When they took the blood test, the doctor determined he was not a candidate for treatment today, because his blood platelets were too low. The lowest count that could be and still have the treatment is 149 and his count was 50. So, they told us we have to wait two weeks and then come in for another blood test to see if he could proceed with a treatment that day. So, we were sent home today. We were disappointed and not really sure if this will do any harm or not.

Last week wasn't a perfect week. He is still out of sorts at times, like running the walker into the wall and just standing there, not saying what he is up to, early in the morning. And, he gets light-headed often and better sit down, before he falls down. His appetite has been up and down and he has been able to see visitors and take phone calls.

As a lot of you know, we announced that when we got the CT Scan results back, if they were good, we would put a big yellow sunflower on the front door. We put it up and it is still up. On some of his not the best days, I've asked it he wanted me to take the sunflower down and he says "no". So, it is still up and we'll leave things the way they are for now.

Thank you for checking in and taking his mind off things and bringing him his forbidden treats of ice cream and Potato Spud candy bars. He does perk up with the sweets.

For the many of you who are checking on me, I am getting plenty of attention and getting the rest I need, even with the interruptions, I know I am doing fine. But I do love the little unexpected things that are showing up to make my evenings a bit easier.

Most know that my book came out of the gate, with the notices from Costco, Walmart, Sam's Club and events throughout the valley, the exact time we received the news of John's cancer. So, the commitments for book signings and appearances must be completed and some times it is hard to balance how John is feeling with my travels. For your information, out of 3,000 books, my distributor told me we have 990 left.

I do have a much better day, when I leave home knowing he is feeling pretty good or someone is just making a quick stop to see for themselves.

I'll just drop a note on the blog, here and there, until October 12, when he has his next doctor appointment, and let you know if there is anything you should know or that I should report to you.

We still have our same attitude and our spirits are high and always thankful for continued support, both here in Utah and in California. Hey, when I start to count the people, it goes into many other states, so I guess I can't just claim Utah and California. Thanks

Monday, September 21, 2009 6:48 PM

We went for the test results today and had to wait an additional 45 minutes, which added to our anxiety. But, the news was wonderful. "There was a significant reduction in all the tumors and the treatment had worked well."

So, the doctor told us we need to continue with the same set of chemicals and add one other one, but make them all a smaller amount, so his body won't have such a hard time accepting the treatment. We were all pleasantly pleased with these results. One of the tumors (his biggest one) went from a 3 cm to a 1 cm. in size.

They immediately started the treatment again and he will go for "2 rounds" and then that is all the treatment he could ever have. One today, one next Monday, a week off and then repeat for one more round. Then, another CT Scan and we will have the final results of this treatment.

It is obvious to us that all the fasting and prayers in John's behalf has created a miracle at this time. I hope you all have room to keep him on your personal prayer list and continue sending them our way.

I don't know how often I will update the blog, but rest assured, I will each and every day, if there is something to report. Let's say at least every Monday. Let me know if that is often enough for you all.

Love, from both of us

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Today was uneventful, with the exception that John had the dry heaves again.

He had his CT Scan and sent home to wait for the results, which we will hear on Monday, when we meet with the doctor.

Unless some unforeseen thing comes up, I won't do a posting until Monday.

Until then, keep the prayers coming.

Wednesday September 16, 2009

John woke up not feeling as good as he has for the last 4 days. Had some stomach pains and a bit on the faint side. But, he pulled out of it early in the afternoon and has had a good day since.

Tomorrow is his CT Scan and we are anxious for the results, but they will not be in until Monday. So, it will be a long weekend.

This is short, but sweet. We are both actually going to bed at the same time for the first time in enos of weeks. That means, John is feeling well enough to stay up later and I am not stressed with a ton of things to do to get ready for the morning.

Thanks again to our great friends and neighbors who know exactly what we seem to need and when we need it.

Tuesday September 15, 2009

OK, so I let a day go by without reporting in, sorry.

Yesterday morning John woke up with a pain in his left hip and shortly thereafter he had the dry heaves and was shaking pretty hard, which we and the doctor can't explain. He gets tremor like shakes and he can't hardly take a drink, so I hold the glass and he uses a straw. But within an hour, all these symptoms stopped and he was feeling good. We think his hip hurt, because he slept on the left side a long time and he is just bones right now. Can't explain the nausea, but it didn't last at all, plus, I gave his a nausea pill.

Today he was good all day. Lyle took him for a regular doctor visit, which got him out of the house for a few hours and it was good for a change. But he wasn't up to doing anything more than returning home and going to bed for a good nap.

He has gained a few pounds, up to 149 now, but didn't eat well today. He just doesn't have an appetite, except for the things he shouldn't have, because of his diabetes. But, I guess calories are good for him.

Until tomorrow, good night.

Sunday 9-13-09 10:55 PM

It is Sunday and the 4th day of feeling about a 7.

Last night I worded the message kind of weird. I should have put, 3 days and NO change from the old John, which simply means he feels and acts back to the pre-cancer state.

In any event, he is very happy with how he is feeling and we both would like to wish the next 7 days to be gone. Just a reminder to you all: The scan will be this Thursday and the results in the following Monday, the 21st. So, no idea what the next step will be right now. We'll just keeping doing what we are doing and hope you will also.

Hope you all have a great week.

Saturday Sept. 12, 2009 11:08

OK, day three, change from the happy, upbeat, loving man we all know. Except, he hasn't used the walker today, but the cane.

One day at a time.

Friday Sept. 11, 2009 11:46

With all that is going on, good and the bad, it is getting later every night in getting the update to you.

This will be short, because all is quiet for the second day in a row. John is still feeling very good and able to, more or less, tend himself. He is still using the walker, which he calls his "Cadillac", but I don't have to help him get dressed.

Oh, but I have to tell you this: John woke up and said, "Boy am I tired. I had nightmares all night. I was fighting a big war all by myself and I am exhausted. But, the good news it, I won."

We talked tonight about how wonderful it is to see such a huge change in him from being so ill to feeling so good. We are hoping this might mean the chemo do take a lot of the cancer cells out. The 17th is still too far away.

The only thing you need to think about right now is, if you want to visit, please call ahead of time so we can get the big dog in the backyard, so he won't jump on anyone or get out the door and run away or get hit by a car. John is up to some company, but probably best to make it short.

Until tomorrow, good night.

Thursday, September 10, 2009 10-13-09

Well, I'll be..... John and I both slept without interruption. He woke up happy, feeling better than he has in months and you wouldn't believe it, but he was even singing. Now, go figure!!!

I guess that is what 3 "flushing outs" did to get all the poison chemicals out of his system, that was making him literally, deathly ill. Let's pray the CT Scan shows some positive results. That's on the 17th.

So, He had a wonderful day and ended it with a homemade dinner from one of our sweet neighbors and watched the football game.

I am elated over this day and actually look forward to another good night's rest and a repeat of this day tomorrow.

It's early to bed for me....... Good night to all

Wednesday September 9, 2009

Well, we went for the "flush out" today and it turned out to be just another rehydrating. They explained that they want to give him more nutrients, vitamins, electrolytes, etc. and a lot of fluids, so he can eliminate the chemicals in his body still. They will not move up the date of the CT Scan, so we still have to wait until the 17th.

We came home and John went to bed and slept for 5 hours. And I gave in and had a nap too. He had a good appetite and was up to seeing several people that stopped by with the "come in" sign on the door. I think I will change the signs on the door to Red for "sleeping or don't knock" and Green for "come in and visit". That way, people will know by the color of the note whether to come to the door.

We are blessed with the young men in our church ward, who came and did some needed yard work and many others with support. It would be impossible to mention everyone and I would not want to forget anyone, but you all know who you are. You are all needed and seem to know when the time is needed. Loved that pumpkin chocolate chip bread!

We are planning on a calm, good night's rest tonight and see how tomorrow goes.

Tuesday September 8, 2009 10:10 PM

I did decide to call upon our friend and neighbor, who is a flight nurse and lives a few doors down, to come over and take a look at John about 4:00 AM. She came over and went over his blood sugar count and his heart rate. He was getting more alert, but didn't know who she was. In time, we decided he was stable enough for now.

I heard back from the ER rep. and she advised me to contact the doctor and go over the symptoms we have been dealing with. After hours of waiting, they set up an appointment for tomorrow at 8:30 AM to come in for an IV and they are going to "flush his system out." I don't know exactly what that means, but it sounded like a good plan to me, if it means to get the chemicals out of him that are causing all this trouble. I'll ask them if this means they can take the CT Scan sooner and start him on another treatment program.

As the day went on, John was feeling really good. He decided he wanted to get out for lunch and go see his fellow workers at Target. We went over and he was so welcomed by the staff. I bet there were at least 10 people that took a break and came over to talk to him and tell them how much they missed him there at work. I know he felt very good about that visit and it made me feel good to see him react to getting out and getting caught up with them. They have been so supportive and been following up on him all the time.

So, we'll see how the night goes and I'll report in after I know more what tomorrow's procedure entails.

September 9, 2009 5:10 AM

It seems that night time is nightmare time. Sleep comes and goes with strange things happening. John gets this tremor thing going and I wake up to what reminds me of a California earthquake. The first thing I think of is his blood sugar is low and he seems to be in a coma like state. I can talk to him, but his speech is slurred and he is slow to respond.

The questions that go through my mind is, do I call 911, should I get him up. Yesterday he took a fall getting out of bed and I couldn't help him up, because when I tried to hold him, it hurt his insides. So, in his own attempt to get up, he fell a second time. Of course, one would always worry about the famous broken hip scenario, so in reality, I don't know how to help him up.

More questions come do mind. I have two nurse on my street, just one and two doors down, but should I bother them? It is like crying wolf, as they have been over several times and things work out OK. It is truly a dilemma and a frightening thing to deal with. These could be life threatening issues and I just don't know where to turn. We have been to the ER so many times, they practically know us by name, yet on the other hand, they keep him there for hours or admit him, so I guess we are doing the right things, some of the time.

I was given a phone number the last time we were in the ER, from Social Services, who told us "the next time we have a medical problem, which we are going to have, we can call them and leave a voice message and they will get right back to us." I left them a message around 4:00 AM, but I know they don't start answering until 8:00 AM.

So, I am unable to sleep, sick with worry and want someone to tell me what I should do. For now, I will try to get him up, out of bed and see how he responds. Of course, the fear of him falling is prevalent, and I almost hate to bother him as he needs the rest.

I'll give you my decision and update later today. I maybe shouldn't have even given you this one, but I did anyway.